Last time on Uneasy Face:
Message Received:
Have fun ok and thanks for everything that u have done and be there for and when are your parent celebration for them in spring?
Message Received:
Way are you not sleeping yet? Talking to someone specially ha? Don't forget about the ring ok
I now present to you tonight's installment of Uneasy Face.
Message Sent:
I am bowling now. Not sure what you mean about my parents or ring? Am I marrying them? :/
I decide to play it honest, because I was in fact bowling at the time. And while I'm being honest I should admit I don't know anything about parent celebrations or rings. It's best to come clean here I think. It's also best to then imply something preposterous and tag on an uneasy face.
Message Received:
Pick which one u want bowling at this time u dont work tomorrow? Its getting late young lady lol u having fun
Sweet, it looks like I get to pick out which ring I want. I think a ring of glibness should do the trick, +30 to my bluff checks will ensure this blog continues. Forget about that work comment there's more important things to note. Now here comes something I did not expect, I am supposedly a young lady. For the record I am not, nor have I ever been a young lady. This is hardly worth laughing out loud about. I guess I can rule out possibly knowing this person now. Hmmph, well I'm not having fun anymore!
Message Sent:
I will paint this town red! Might as well because I AM the ruler of the night! :/
Ok, I don't ignore the work comment. I embrace my position as guardian of the darkness, keeper of the shadows, the one and only ruler of the night. The red I paint across this town is that of the blood of my victims, specifically those who say that I am a young lady. I'm coming for you random texter!
Message Received:
Ok u dont work how much u drink to day its?raining outside drive carefully ok its dark
Drinking? I'm not some sort of vampire, I gather the blood of my victims through good old fashioned stab wounds. And I do work, just not professionally. Sometimes you just have to do what you enjoy and not worry about money, or driving carefully in the dark and stormy night.
But then I have a change of heart. I've strung this poor person along for quite some time, much longer than I'd ever imagined. Do I want to be responsible for the troubles I am causing anymore? No, it's time to end this. I apologize to my readers, but this is the end of Uneasy Face.
Message Sent:
Ok this has gone on long enough. Im sorry but I am a random stranger just playing along :/
There it is done. Straightforward enough that it should shed light on all the previous nonsense that was sent. I have no regrets, what's done is done. Thank you all for reading. :/
Message Received:
Ok this not nice u joking me its u
Sigh, I wish I could say I'm surprised. I know how difficult it is to believe that all of my previous messages were the ramblings of a bored blogger being as ridiculous as possible. Fine, be that way.
Message Sent:
I am such a kidder always pranking around :/
Yep that's me, just pulling a prank. Sorry random texter but I've tried to free you from this madness twice now and still you insist that I am your friend. It looks like the dance continues. :/
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Tonight on a Very Special Uneasy Face
So here we are again to delve into the maddening world of mistaken text messaging. Last time I told you the conversation took an unexpected twist. Immediately after my comments on boats came a curve ball. Note: Be prepared for a lot of two part messages.
Message Received:
Tida ask me to go over her house again because kim came over arent they tired of this I cant go every weekend I have kids I think about my family I cant
Message Received:
just drink every weekend this is to much I just dont want to answer my phone anymore I tired still not growing up yet
First of all where did that come from, I was talking about my love of boats! Second of all, this person has a family? Kids as in a multitude of offspring? And there's drinking involved? I'm getting in too deep here, I've got to somehow get even more ridiculous so this person realizes they have the wrong number.
Message Sent:
Ok I know how hard it is, but I'm from the future. Don't get on that helicopter! You'll understand soon. :/
This one might be crossing the line. It's just so completely random that at least this person will have to question if I'm at all sane. Of course if by some coincidence this person was scheduled for helicopter lessons or something that was destined to go awry I may have just saved a life.
Message Received:
What u mean I think I know whar u mean but still tell of the meaning
...Whaaaaaaat? Seriously!? There is no possible way that you could even begin to think you know what I mean!! I'm at a loss. This person is truly remarkable. Alright, better pull it together and pretend that was some kind of analogy that relates to the topic at hand.
Message Sent:
The helicopter represents drinking. If it spirals out of control you will explode! Think of the children :/
Perfect save. That is one damn fine analogy if I do say so myself. And that uneasy face does a damn fine job of bringing out the urgency of the danger those children are in from that helicopter explosion. A damn fine helicopter explosion.
Message Received:
Of course my kids come first not the dam drinking and I dont have that kind of money I work hard before I spend I pay me bill first not partying every we
Message Received:
ekend I get sick and tird if I want to drink I will drink at home
Ok now I think I've offended this person. Apparently any implication that a person's children come second to crazy drinking sprees causes them to get defensive. Who knew? I better smooth things over and show that I care.
Message Sent:
I know you are doing right. I just like analogies, and boats :/
A little reassurance goes a long way and analogies are the tram that aid you on that journey. Also I really need to drive my point across that I enjoy myself a good boat every now and then. That uneasy face is my reaction to this person just not understanding my needs.
Message Received:
Have fun ok and thanks for everything that u have done and be there for and when are your parent celebration for them in spring?
Hmm, it seems my natural charms and friendly nature are just too strong. I've managed to help this person through a problem they were having even while being a jackass. I suppose at least I can rest easy knowing I've done my good deed for the day. But that last part worries me, what parent celebration am I supposed to know about in the spring? I certainly don't want to be responsible for this person missing out on a parent celebration.
Message Received:
Way are you not sleeping yet? Talking to someone specially ha? Don't forget about the ring ok
I don't even have time to respond before I am bombarded with even more questions! This particular portion of the conversation took place at around 9:46 pm, so apparently I'm usually sleeping at this time. I'll have to come up with a reason for that. The next question I find amusing because I assume someone 'specially ha' means someone hilarious. I was talking to you! Are you hilarious? There's your answer. And now a ring is involved, one that I'm not to forget. Perhaps I'm supposed to keep it secret, keep it safe? Perhaps I'm in charge of maintaining a wrestling match? Perhaps I'm going to die in seven days?
Will I give the details regarding my parent celebration? Will I reveal why I wasn't sleeping? Will I forget about the ring? Find out next time in "Celebrations Ring True" or "The Easy End of Uneasy Face"! :/
Message Received:
Tida ask me to go over her house again because kim came over arent they tired of this I cant go every weekend I have kids I think about my family I cant
Message Received:
just drink every weekend this is to much I just dont want to answer my phone anymore I tired still not growing up yet
First of all where did that come from, I was talking about my love of boats! Second of all, this person has a family? Kids as in a multitude of offspring? And there's drinking involved? I'm getting in too deep here, I've got to somehow get even more ridiculous so this person realizes they have the wrong number.
Message Sent:
Ok I know how hard it is, but I'm from the future. Don't get on that helicopter! You'll understand soon. :/
This one might be crossing the line. It's just so completely random that at least this person will have to question if I'm at all sane. Of course if by some coincidence this person was scheduled for helicopter lessons or something that was destined to go awry I may have just saved a life.
Message Received:
What u mean I think I know whar u mean but still tell of the meaning
...Whaaaaaaat? Seriously!? There is no possible way that you could even begin to think you know what I mean!! I'm at a loss. This person is truly remarkable. Alright, better pull it together and pretend that was some kind of analogy that relates to the topic at hand.
Message Sent:
The helicopter represents drinking. If it spirals out of control you will explode! Think of the children :/
Perfect save. That is one damn fine analogy if I do say so myself. And that uneasy face does a damn fine job of bringing out the urgency of the danger those children are in from that helicopter explosion. A damn fine helicopter explosion.
Message Received:
Of course my kids come first not the dam drinking and I dont have that kind of money I work hard before I spend I pay me bill first not partying every we
Message Received:
ekend I get sick and tird if I want to drink I will drink at home
Ok now I think I've offended this person. Apparently any implication that a person's children come second to crazy drinking sprees causes them to get defensive. Who knew? I better smooth things over and show that I care.
Message Sent:
I know you are doing right. I just like analogies, and boats :/
A little reassurance goes a long way and analogies are the tram that aid you on that journey. Also I really need to drive my point across that I enjoy myself a good boat every now and then. That uneasy face is my reaction to this person just not understanding my needs.
Message Received:
Have fun ok and thanks for everything that u have done and be there for and when are your parent celebration for them in spring?
Hmm, it seems my natural charms and friendly nature are just too strong. I've managed to help this person through a problem they were having even while being a jackass. I suppose at least I can rest easy knowing I've done my good deed for the day. But that last part worries me, what parent celebration am I supposed to know about in the spring? I certainly don't want to be responsible for this person missing out on a parent celebration.
Message Received:
Way are you not sleeping yet? Talking to someone specially ha? Don't forget about the ring ok
I don't even have time to respond before I am bombarded with even more questions! This particular portion of the conversation took place at around 9:46 pm, so apparently I'm usually sleeping at this time. I'll have to come up with a reason for that. The next question I find amusing because I assume someone 'specially ha' means someone hilarious. I was talking to you! Are you hilarious? There's your answer. And now a ring is involved, one that I'm not to forget. Perhaps I'm supposed to keep it secret, keep it safe? Perhaps I'm in charge of maintaining a wrestling match? Perhaps I'm going to die in seven days?
Will I give the details regarding my parent celebration? Will I reveal why I wasn't sleeping? Will I forget about the ring? Find out next time in "Celebrations Ring True" or "The Easy End of Uneasy Face"! :/
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I'm on a Boat! :/
Things have been slow with Uneasy Face these days, nothing exciting worth posting about just one text about an updated number.
Message Received:
This is my new number ok
##########
I'm not going to go releasing this poor person's number to the internet, that'd be dastardly. So I just left it at that, not sure how to respond or if I even wanted to. I decided just to wait and see what fate would bring.
Message Received:
Hi what are doing on the weekend u want to come over the weekend on saturday for diner I call ra if u come no tida
Well it looks like fate wants more ridiculous messaging. Clearly this weekend presents an interesting opportunity to enjoy a meal with this mystery texter and friend, but not tida the warlock. Also clearly I can't actually do such a thing as that is outrageous.
Message Sent:
Cant come the weekend, I'll be on the boat with Greg :/
Ok this one involves a little backstory. Long ago I received another random text that did not provide any manner of hilarious blog potential.
Message of Yore:
hey it greg from the boat. lizanne gave me ur number. I think u should let me take u out sometime
So I decide to use this opportunity to tie my accidental text messages together. Perhaps this date with Greg is what my mystery texter was inquiring about. Wouldn't that be something? Yes, it'd be something disturbing and incredibly bizarre.
Message Received:
Ok u dont love me I have your diet pill I will drop it off for in the kitchen ok have fun and behaviar
Well now here I've gone and upset this person who I think is passive aggressively implying that I'm fat. The nerve! I better reply back with a message that shows that I can have all the behaviar I want while still showing that I care.
Message Sent:
Hey now my love is endless. You know I CAN'T RESIST BOATS! :/
Bam, the perfect balance of sweet and sour. Who could stay mad at someone with endless love...an endless love of boats! I had to capitalize to show that I was actually shouting this comment as I typed it. And while I was not at all uneasy about this text I had to add it to the end to show how the recipient should respond to reading my passionate message.
This conversation continued on, if you can believe it, but took an unexpected turn after this. And after that twist came a few more that you'll never even see coming. But you will see them forth coming, maybe even fifth coming. :/
Message Received:
This is my new number ok
##########
I'm not going to go releasing this poor person's number to the internet, that'd be dastardly. So I just left it at that, not sure how to respond or if I even wanted to. I decided just to wait and see what fate would bring.
Message Received:
Hi what are doing on the weekend u want to come over the weekend on saturday for diner I call ra if u come no tida
Well it looks like fate wants more ridiculous messaging. Clearly this weekend presents an interesting opportunity to enjoy a meal with this mystery texter and friend, but not tida the warlock. Also clearly I can't actually do such a thing as that is outrageous.
Message Sent:
Cant come the weekend, I'll be on the boat with Greg :/
Ok this one involves a little backstory. Long ago I received another random text that did not provide any manner of hilarious blog potential.
Message of Yore:
hey it greg from the boat. lizanne gave me ur number. I think u should let me take u out sometime
So I decide to use this opportunity to tie my accidental text messages together. Perhaps this date with Greg is what my mystery texter was inquiring about. Wouldn't that be something? Yes, it'd be something disturbing and incredibly bizarre.
Message Received:
Ok u dont love me I have your diet pill I will drop it off for in the kitchen ok have fun and behaviar
Well now here I've gone and upset this person who I think is passive aggressively implying that I'm fat. The nerve! I better reply back with a message that shows that I can have all the behaviar I want while still showing that I care.
Message Sent:
Hey now my love is endless. You know I CAN'T RESIST BOATS! :/
Bam, the perfect balance of sweet and sour. Who could stay mad at someone with endless love...an endless love of boats! I had to capitalize to show that I was actually shouting this comment as I typed it. And while I was not at all uneasy about this text I had to add it to the end to show how the recipient should respond to reading my passionate message.
This conversation continued on, if you can believe it, but took an unexpected turn after this. And after that twist came a few more that you'll never even see coming. But you will see them forth coming, maybe even fifth coming. :/
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