Hey everyone, today's episode gets into the holiday spirit of the recently passed birthday of America! I figured it was close enough to the holidays that my references would be clear, but apparently Tina just doesn't get my styles. Let's watch.
Message Received:
Watching a documentary on aliens. Do you think aliens exist?
A documentary about aliens? I think we actually need concrete proof of aliens before we can go claiming to have documentaries. Unless she's talking about the ones stealing all our jobs. Either way it's time to give the ol' American spirit to her!
Message Sent:
Aliens are already amongst us. Independence Day is a good documentary! :/
They are picking our fruit and cleaning our urinals. But in case she means outer space aliens, I'll reference a classic movie, it seems to be something we do now. It's not a documentary, but maybe she doesn't know that?
Message Received:
They made a documentary about july 4?
Always on the ball as usual. Yes, I'm talking about the documentary about July 4th that has nothing to do with the subject at hand, which is ALIENS! C'mon now, Tina, use your head. Get in the game and ride the same wavelength as me.
Message Sent:
When Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum saved the world! :/
Looks like I'll spell it out for her. I think if there ever was an alien invasion these two would actually be the people I would want furthest from the alien mothership. Someone needs to make classy movies for future generations. I'd like to see these two work together again. Look at me, now I'm rambling. This is what happens when I'm forced to explain myself. It makes me so uneasy.
Message Received:
Oh the movie yes that was good
Yes, yes it was a good movie. I have nothing further to say about this. I'm just going to leave this one alone. There's really nothing that can be said without flipping off the handle. And this guy is going to stay right on that handle, keeping it securely unflipped. For now at least.
Don't worry folks, I've got a back log of all this nonsense. Tina and Paul are tight and my Paul impression is spot-on so there's more to come. Now go watch Independence Day. Or Top Gun. Well, probably not Top Gun. :/
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Uneasy Face Special Deluxe Edition
It has been a while since my last post, you may be worried that uneasy face had come to an unfortunate end again. But fear not, uneasy face still carries on strong! I have just been busy being really lazy, but that ends now. To make up for the delays here is a special deluxe edition! It is the same as a normal edition, but longer.
Message Received:
Hey Paul...So I just wanted to make sure that you are okay...u havent been yourself lately...has it been difficult in California?
Okay, this is serious business right here. Tina is getting suspicious that I'm not really Paul. I could play off the whole California changes people into crazies thing but I would rather not cause her to worry. I better play it cool for now.
Message Sent:
I am just fine. The california air makes me feel like dancing! Don't you worry 'bout me :/
Dancing is a sure sign of being fine, and the added warning not to worry about me should throw her off the trail. The uneasy face gets across that I am disappointed that she'd even doubt that I am just fine.
Message Received:
Thats good dancing is fun. How is ur presentation for ur one year anniversary going? Your family must be happy that ur still sober.
Crisis averted. Good job, me, now there's no doubt that everything about me is Paul-like and doing fine. Apparently I'm celebrating one year sober as well. That is good to know, now I won't be able to use alcohol as an excuse for zany antics without causing unspeakable drama.
Message Sent:
Presentation is going swimmingly! Everyone is thrilled for me and my year long wagon ride. :/
Swimmingly is a way a presentation can be going, right? I'm unclear how presentations about being sober work but I'll sure make assumptions. Being on the wagon is something everyone should be thrilled about, good job Paul! A year long wagon ride sounds pretty awful though, so I'll toss an uneasy face on there just to be safe.
So uneasy face isn't dead, don't all y'all worry about it. I doubt there was much panic, but I will pretend it was quite extensive in some circles. Now, on to the second part of this special deluxe edition!
Message Received:
So bored. What does a girl do for fun?
Now here is a classic setup. Do I take the bait?
Message Sent:
Me? :/
I most certainly do. Paul is such a rogue! I am uneasy about how easy that setup was.
Message Received:
You would make a cute girl teehee, but I wonder what I should do... :>}
Of course my genius is lost upon this girl, who again misunderstands what I'm talking about. I'm sure Paul is chock full of girlish features, but now is not the time to get into that. Also it appears Tina has adopted her own signature face. I assume it is a face with a large nose and equally large mustache. I will call it the mustachinose face.
Message Sent:
I mean do meee, but I don't want to push you into something you're uncomfortable with :/
I decide I can't let that gold slide by unnoticed so I spell it out for her. I also add a disclaimer so as not to stress the bonds of this relationship into any uneasy territory.
Message Received:
Haha. I'm serious. Besides wouldn't Gabby be jealous?
Being bored is serious business, I understand. It was wrong of me to be so roguish, especially if it'll make Gabby jealous. I do not want the wrath of Gabby at my doorstep.
Message Sent:
Gabby is up for anything! But you could go dancing or cruising! :/
I'll slip in a comment that implies that Gabby is fine with me whoring myself out then quickly move along. Dancing and cruising are two fine activities, we've already discussed dancing so it seems a reasonable option. Cruising is just vague enough that perhaps she'll know what it means in some context I'm unaware of.
Message Received:
Ooh the cruise club great idea!
Wow, how lucky is that? Pretty lucky I'd say. My vague and generally unhelpful suggestions have proved to be quite helpful and a great idea! Paul is so smart.
Message Sent:
I am full of great ideas and also nachos. :/
To be fair at the time I was pretty full of nachos. And I'd venture to say that all of my ideas are great, even the terrible ones (which are represented by an uneasy face).
Message Received:
What do you call cheese that isnt yours?
Oh man, terrible joke incoming! Tina, my respect for you has reached new heights.
Message Sent:
Nacho cheese! So hilarious, like cruisin :/
I cannot help but return back the classic punchline. While I'm at it I might as well lie and say it is hilarious and that cruisin is also hilarious. It probably is?
Message Received:
YES!!!!!!!!!! Tom Cruisin like last year haha!
Ten exclamation points after a caps-locked 'yes' is a sign that cruisin is definitely hilarious. I feel foolish for even doubting myself. Apparently we went Tom Cruisin last year. I do not want to know what that means.
Message Sent:
It is crazy times that are the best times and those were craaaazy! :/
It is a safe bet that any activity that is called Tom Cruisin is going to be really crazy. Like four a's crazy. Maybe Paul can handle Tom Cruisin, but I'm a little uneasy about being involved in such antics.
Message Received:
Yes. I think i will go Tom Cruisin and have crazy times. Maybe ill meet a top gun, teehee.
Tina has really stepped up her game. Not only has she taken cruising and turned it into Tom Cruisin, she is referencing the best film of 1986*!
Message Sent:
I hope so! Don't get goosed by an iceman :/
As long as we're talking about Top Gun, I might as well say something stupid that somewhat relates to the topic at hand. I'm not even sure what getting goosed by an iceman would entail. But I do know that Iceman was Val Kilmer's best role**.
So there you have it, tons of uneasy face blog to fill that uneasy space in your uneasy heart. Stay uneasy, my friends. Stay cool and uneasy. : /
*best film of 1986 not counting An American Tail, Back to School, Big Trouble in Little China, Crocodile Dundee, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Flight of the Navigator, The Golden Child, Highlander, Little Shop of Horrors, Pretty in Pink, Short Circuit, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Three Amigos!, and many many more.
**Not even close to being true.
Message Received:
Hey Paul...So I just wanted to make sure that you are okay...u havent been yourself lately...has it been difficult in California?
Okay, this is serious business right here. Tina is getting suspicious that I'm not really Paul. I could play off the whole California changes people into crazies thing but I would rather not cause her to worry. I better play it cool for now.
Message Sent:
I am just fine. The california air makes me feel like dancing! Don't you worry 'bout me :/
Dancing is a sure sign of being fine, and the added warning not to worry about me should throw her off the trail. The uneasy face gets across that I am disappointed that she'd even doubt that I am just fine.
Message Received:
Thats good dancing is fun. How is ur presentation for ur one year anniversary going? Your family must be happy that ur still sober.
Crisis averted. Good job, me, now there's no doubt that everything about me is Paul-like and doing fine. Apparently I'm celebrating one year sober as well. That is good to know, now I won't be able to use alcohol as an excuse for zany antics without causing unspeakable drama.
Message Sent:
Presentation is going swimmingly! Everyone is thrilled for me and my year long wagon ride. :/
Swimmingly is a way a presentation can be going, right? I'm unclear how presentations about being sober work but I'll sure make assumptions. Being on the wagon is something everyone should be thrilled about, good job Paul! A year long wagon ride sounds pretty awful though, so I'll toss an uneasy face on there just to be safe.
So uneasy face isn't dead, don't all y'all worry about it. I doubt there was much panic, but I will pretend it was quite extensive in some circles. Now, on to the second part of this special deluxe edition!
Message Received:
So bored. What does a girl do for fun?
Now here is a classic setup. Do I take the bait?
Message Sent:
Me? :/
I most certainly do. Paul is such a rogue! I am uneasy about how easy that setup was.
Message Received:
You would make a cute girl teehee, but I wonder what I should do... :>}
Of course my genius is lost upon this girl, who again misunderstands what I'm talking about. I'm sure Paul is chock full of girlish features, but now is not the time to get into that. Also it appears Tina has adopted her own signature face. I assume it is a face with a large nose and equally large mustache. I will call it the mustachinose face.
Message Sent:
I mean do meee, but I don't want to push you into something you're uncomfortable with :/
I decide I can't let that gold slide by unnoticed so I spell it out for her. I also add a disclaimer so as not to stress the bonds of this relationship into any uneasy territory.
Message Received:
Haha. I'm serious. Besides wouldn't Gabby be jealous?
Being bored is serious business, I understand. It was wrong of me to be so roguish, especially if it'll make Gabby jealous. I do not want the wrath of Gabby at my doorstep.
Message Sent:
Gabby is up for anything! But you could go dancing or cruising! :/
I'll slip in a comment that implies that Gabby is fine with me whoring myself out then quickly move along. Dancing and cruising are two fine activities, we've already discussed dancing so it seems a reasonable option. Cruising is just vague enough that perhaps she'll know what it means in some context I'm unaware of.
Message Received:
Ooh the cruise club great idea!
Wow, how lucky is that? Pretty lucky I'd say. My vague and generally unhelpful suggestions have proved to be quite helpful and a great idea! Paul is so smart.
Message Sent:
I am full of great ideas and also nachos. :/
To be fair at the time I was pretty full of nachos. And I'd venture to say that all of my ideas are great, even the terrible ones (which are represented by an uneasy face).
Message Received:
What do you call cheese that isnt yours?
Oh man, terrible joke incoming! Tina, my respect for you has reached new heights.
Message Sent:
Nacho cheese! So hilarious, like cruisin :/
I cannot help but return back the classic punchline. While I'm at it I might as well lie and say it is hilarious and that cruisin is also hilarious. It probably is?
Message Received:
YES!!!!!!!!!! Tom Cruisin like last year haha!
Ten exclamation points after a caps-locked 'yes' is a sign that cruisin is definitely hilarious. I feel foolish for even doubting myself. Apparently we went Tom Cruisin last year. I do not want to know what that means.
Message Sent:
It is crazy times that are the best times and those were craaaazy! :/
It is a safe bet that any activity that is called Tom Cruisin is going to be really crazy. Like four a's crazy. Maybe Paul can handle Tom Cruisin, but I'm a little uneasy about being involved in such antics.
Message Received:
Yes. I think i will go Tom Cruisin and have crazy times. Maybe ill meet a top gun, teehee.
Tina has really stepped up her game. Not only has she taken cruising and turned it into Tom Cruisin, she is referencing the best film of 1986*!
Message Sent:
I hope so! Don't get goosed by an iceman :/
As long as we're talking about Top Gun, I might as well say something stupid that somewhat relates to the topic at hand. I'm not even sure what getting goosed by an iceman would entail. But I do know that Iceman was Val Kilmer's best role**.
So there you have it, tons of uneasy face blog to fill that uneasy space in your uneasy heart. Stay uneasy, my friends. Stay cool and uneasy. : /
*best film of 1986 not counting An American Tail, Back to School, Big Trouble in Little China, Crocodile Dundee, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Flight of the Navigator, The Golden Child, Highlander, Little Shop of Horrors, Pretty in Pink, Short Circuit, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Three Amigos!, and many many more.
**Not even close to being true.
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