Back by Popular Retext

It's been a while since there has been any activity with the mysterious texter, and as such nothing ridiculous to comment upon. Well that changed today, my friends. By popular request I've turned the old cellular printing press back on and began my uneasy faced newsletter anew.

Let's start things off with a simple message anyone could understand. I don't want to be too ridiculous and alert the person to the fact I stated that it was the wrong number a couple times. The way I figure it, I'll probably just be told to leave 'em alone anyway since I'm clearly an impostor and they've realized it by now. Of course, I've been wrong before.

Message Sent:
So the Old Timey Beggars stole my salsa :/

After over a month of silence an emergency is the only way to rekindle an old friendship. And what an emergency! That salsa was going to be used in some of my Mighty Fine Nachos(tm), a secret family recipe. Not my family, mind you, but some family... look never mind it's not important. The point is the Old Timey Beggars catering company robbed me!

Message Received:
My dear what do u mean this is davy

Aha! After all this time I now have a name! Hellooo Daaavy. I'm glad you are concerned about my salsa situation, Davy. So concerned that I noticed I had 3 missed calls before I checked this message. I'll assume Davy isn't the original texter but the father of the texter's children. I will now assume the original texter's name is Davia. You know what they say when you assume? That it gets problems solved. Bam!

Message Sent:
I forgot my SALSA at OTBs. it was mild :/

Not wanting to get into a difficult conversation about this questionable family recipe situation I cleverly say it was all a simple mistake. SALSA is capitalized to symoblize my shout of outrage, or perhaps because it is an abbreviation (Super-Awesome-Lip-Smacking-Artifact). Either way it is the key to nacho perfection, or perfecho as I call it. For further clarification, OTB is the Old Timey Beggars, who I will defeat on the field of battle someday. The uneasy face has a specific meaning this time. It signifies that while the salsa may have been mild, my love of it certainly wasn't.


There you have it folks, another supply of zany fresh off the presses. The adventures Davia and I will have across the landscape of cellular textures will continue because you, the viewer, have demanded it. And it doesn't matter who's right, it just matters who's left. And that's you if you're reading this. And that's that. :/